Change
I broke out in a rash. I'd only had 1 1/2 hours sleep. I was very calm and composed, except with the so-called photographer. He was looking nervous and uncomfortable at times. Once we got home and he changed he was a different person - think the heavy lining of the suit got to him.We were second, then we were first. There was lots of singing, lots of words of wisdom, and laughter. We arrived separately and left together. There was cake, there were things that were taken, things that were given, and things that were offered. By 4pm it was all over and by 5:30pm he was still outside picking rubbish up from the yard.
We made our first visit as a couple that Saturday. To my horror, he wore lilac trousers with an olive shirt with navy stripes. At least he wore black shoes. I only noticed the odd combination when we were in the car just about to leave. Under normal circumstances I would have vetted his clothes, this time I let the side down.
So now I have plans to make, things to do and ponder. If things go the way I would like, then things may be wrapped up early next year, and I would be quite happy if that was the case. You can't imagine how I dream of going...but then I'm afeared of that kind of solitary life. It's the difference that can do your head in initially that you want to run away.
He doesn't understand and so I don't bother trying to explain it to him. It's hard, I'm under no illusions that it will be easy. At least when I did it before it was for a period, this is a whole new life. Cross that bridge when I get to it? May be.
