Monday, September 26, 2005

Upside down

Yesterday's meeting was doing my head in.

I was glad for the opportunity to run Mal and his aunt home, and was able to chat with Angela for a bit before returning at the end of the meeting. Much of my time was spent going out and keeping an eye on the children - the film that was showing - The Never-Ending Story - I find particularly boring. The poor children were asking if anything else was on. Next time I must get Wallace and Gromit for them instead...

Yesterday I also impressed myself by filling in my application and completing the Job Requirement write-up in one day! Actually it was pretty easy. Now I just pray I succeed - otherwise I'm going to look for librarian jobs that will get my "foot on the ladder", so to speak. I've been looking at my post-grad options, and there are about two courses I'm looking at doing: Business Information Technology and Information Sciences. If I don't succeed in this current application, I'll probably apply to do the BIT course.

Today the forum seems to have gone pear-shaped. It seems like a verbal free-for-all, no one wants to be held accountable for their actions. I think they forget that the person who runs the site can be held legally accountable if one member decided to sue. More threads have been started about one particular member than any other person.

Somewhere along the line, someone opted to take a pot-shot at me. And I responded, but not in kind. I don't have the time nor patience for slandering kiddie games, I'm too old for that nonsense. What is more disturbing is that folk, in their verbally abusive efforts, have failed to stick to the "Terms and Conditions" which govern the site, in addition to forgetting that, should someone seek damage or anything, the owner of the site will be held liable.

Still haven't RSVPed the 10th anniversary do I'm supposed to be attending in a couple of weeks... (yes, my thinking is usually quite disjointed!)

Monday, September 19, 2005

Higher ground

Shell can't seem to understand my fascination with West African films.

She looks at me as if I should be committed or she suddenly discovered I was a spy. Ever since Christiana introduced me to Bad Girls 1 and 2 and my first Naija film with Hilda Dokobu, I was hooked. I was like an addict, I kept pestering her for more films, in the end I borrowed a bunch of videos and finished watching them in as many days, I couldn't get enough and I still can't. Now I've discovered OBE and BEN television, despite their mediocre showings, I know I'm guaranteed a Nigerian or Ghanaian film at the weekend.

It's only suppressing an urge temporarily. Oba says he's got loads and has promised to lend some of them to me. I came across a place online that did DVD rentals, but the films I wanted they didn't have. There's supposedly a place near(ish) to me, but I don't want to go there and being stared at. I'd really like to buy One Dollar ($1) and find The Mother in Law one that Erica told me about.

I've had the Ray DVD knocking around for ages and haven't watched it. But get me a Nigerian film in here and I'd watch it sooner than later. There's something about it that keeps my attention, and I don't know what it is. It's not the facial expressions (which often, to me, are a throwback to 1930s acting school), nor the cliches nor the method acting.

Whatever it is, I love 'em and can't get enough of them. The day I buy my first one will definitely be memorable for me.

Friday, September 16, 2005

What's the story?

Today I called my parents, as I do on occasion. As usual, my father was at home whingeing about my mother not being there. Why she needs to be there for no particular reason has and continues to remain a mystery to me.

This time around, as opposed to having the usual conversation, he says "I'm getting old. I'm not well at all". Turns out that they think he may have a problem with his prostate. A biopsy has been done, and he should get the results within the next week. There was no panic in my voice as I have known others who have had the same problem and the operations were successful and told him this. Maybe the word "cancer" makes people think of their own mortality. And I'm not really worried, but I'm not sure if I should be, bearing in mind this man has a horrendous hacking cough and smokes like a chimney.

We talked for over an hour and I had to try to make my escape when Melon arrived back home and I talked to him a bit. Once again, no talk with Mummy. Sometimes I wish I could because right now I have some questions that need answers, like...the Grandma question!

Bless Oba's little fact, I should be calling him Ade according to him (to do with lineage). And I was right - Wednesday night when he said he'd call back he fell asleep! This man provides me with hours of free entertainment. Surprisingly we didn't talk about anything too deep and meaningful. I talked about my father, and his computer woes (many of which are self-inflicted).

At one point I'm sure he was going to fall asleep, but for some reason he wouldn't hang up. In the end he had to wave the white flag of surrender. In the meantime, I remain wide awake and listening to you do :)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

A time for everything

Every now and then life throws you a wobbly. You either pick out the flavours you like (in the case of a box of chocolates) or you throw the ball back.

There has been a wind of change since last Thursday evening. I can't quite figure out when it started, nor do I know where it will lead to. Over the past few weeks I've had to come to terms with certain things that I have done, how I feel now, and decide how to resolve them.

Last Thursday I met up with Oba, and took him out for a meal. We sat and talked for a while, actually it was more like a heart-to-heart than anything else. It is probably the first time when we openly talked about things that were implied or never spoken about before; had we met earlier, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation.

I accept that I have been horrible to him on occasion, and part of the reason I took him out to dinner was to apologize for my behaviour towards him. Worse still, he told me that I had and highlighted things I had done. Truth be told I was aware when I had overstepped the mark, because he would go quiet on the phone; then he wouldn't call me for a time. However he said he did notice a change in me recently, in the way I spoke to him.

But after the events of the past few weeks, I thought it was also time to drag out into the open this candle he has been carrying for me over the years. Part of the reason for this was that I found myself comparing other men to him, and then it occurred to me as it never had before; why am I bothering with all of these other men who fall short, when here is someone I've known for years, who possesses some of the qualities I've been looking for?

But then there were all of the reasons why I originally opted not to go there with him. And while I was talking to him, he just sat there looking at me, and didn't say anything. If I was in any doubt about how he felt about me before, I wasn't now. The end conclusion was that I would consider it, but I'm not going to make a decision in a hurry. He asked what took me so long to figure out how he felt about me; I was aware of it, but figured that, because I had told him I didn't feel the same, that would be the end of that. Boy did I get that so wrong.

We would sit and talk for hours every day, in fact that's what we do now. But is that the basis of a relationship or just that you both can talk? He's always offering to give me this and get me that, and I have repeatedly declined. It's taken him this long to realize that if he just went ahead and got it for me I'd be more likely to accept. He also knows I would accept certain things but not others. I have explained that I grew up in a culture where a woman does not accept gifts from men because they always come with conditions - no woman worth her salt will accept a gift without condition from a man she isn't in a relationship with.

My biggest concern (which I did share) is that this is a transition from friendship to something more, and I would rather not lose that friendship element. Is that what I want - more importantly, is that what I want with him? I feel very much like my friend back in the day - today I'll say yes, tomorrow, I'm not sure. I'll start making plans for the future, then I'll start thinking "what if...?" Yesterday I found myself speaking of him in the first person and then switching to the third person.

Where do things go from here? Well, I guess it's up to me. At some point I'll make up my mind for sure.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Someday we'll be together

Today I got the most fantastic news - my friend Mo is getting married!!

Mo and I have been long-distance friends for the past three or so years. We've shared a lot during that time, every year he's asked me when I'm coming to Uganda and I repeatedly say I have no idea! We've talked about marriage (not to each other)in detail - what I love about this guy is that he is one of the most level headed African Christian men I have ever met. He's thoughtful in that he thinks about things very carefully and a lot (maybe too much!), we have the most intellectual discussions.

Part of me is thinking of running up my credit card and going over for the wedding, but it's too close to the time I want to go over and spend with my parents for Christmas. I'd like to pop across the border from Kenya next year but that would require getting another visa plus a multiple visa for Kenya. Maybe I should cash in my chips and get that other nationality passport which doesn't require me to have a visa...oh well.

This past weekend was amazing in a number of ways. Went to Kehinde and Tade's BBQ - talk about reunion! I saw the Osafo children who I haven't seen since Taiwo and Ade's wedding 6 years ago - they are all taller than me! It was amazing just talking to them, after all of these years it was still easy to talk to them. Ben even asked me what it was like in No. 15 - I laughed and asked if he wanted the official story or to know what it was really like? Fortunately Sola was one person who wasn't taller than me, for which I was grateful (or is that me being naughty?)

Sunday I was off to Oba's church. Whilst waiting for the first service to finish, I was wondering if I would remember what he looked like (has it been that long?) The weird thing is that he passed me and someone was positioned in such a way that I saw him before he saw me. That is until I sat in a row behind someone with hardly anyone sitting nearby - he looked and then I could see his brain at work. Actually I liked the deer-in-headlights surprised look. He chatted a bit before he ran off to do something else.

Afterwards he walked me to the bus stop and waited with me until my bus came. He was asking what I thought of the service, worship etc. What impressed me most is there is a Pastor who rubbishes all of the "25 Steps To Prosperity" teachings, which is a rare observation for me. In fact, I have heard him preach before on TV, so I realised that it wasn't something he subscribed to. Overall it was probably one of my best experiences of that kind of church. Would I go back again? Definitely. In fact, Oba was asking if I would be willing to play with them as they've got an event coming up in November. Said I wasn't too sure because I'm a basic guitar player, not one who plays fussy notes. Interesting.