Thursday, March 16, 2006

Time is tight

Counting the days until my trip to Kenya.

Stressed? Yes, too many little things to remember. My hair was coming out during the last week. I've broken out in a rash. I seem to have a constant headache. And on Sunday I took my first anti malarial!

Got my redundancy letter today, and now, rather than looking for a permanent job, I'm thinking once again of doing my teacher training in September. This time around I'm in a much better position in that I can do RE without too much hassle, and in a few years change to IT once I've completed my Masters.

While I was in Hertford I heard a couple of good talks and one mentioned being an RE teacher. That night it kept going through my mind, especially remembering the conversation I had with the lady from the TTA who suggested teaching RE. The following day I talked to Corinne, one of the Trustees who is also a teacher, about me doing teacher training. She in fact suggested I do it, and today I've had two separate conversations about doing it. A sign from God?

Got talking tonight about moving - I move in June, he in July. Moving into the same place could work in both our favour, but many people would simply translate it as "living together". Even if nothing happened (sexually, the one area people home in on), people would still have that idea in their minds and nothing either of us said would make a difference. There are a number of serious implications which go beyond the "living together" thing.

We will have to sit and seriously consider our options before deciding the next step. Working on the premise that our steps are ordered by God, he will not allow us to wander off the path.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Too many "Mr Lonely"

Yesterday I had an interesting, if not disturbing conversation with a friend. He talked of his loneliness as in lack of human contact. Doesn't go to church, his work is internet based, doesn't really go anywhere, has no friends locally.

Sadly, he is not the only man I know in this situation. Why is it that so many men have no friends? They dislike the loneliness but seem to do little to end it. They have no one who calls them to account. They are men who involved in church or work, and somehow their identity is tied up in the accolades that come from doing that job. In the meantime, when work has ended for the day and church has closed, they have no buddy to bounce ideas off of, who shares similar views and values, who they meet up with and do things with.

Why do they seem unable to develop good friendships? Why do they seem to be able to function for endless periods of time without friends, hate the loneliness but don't seem to be able to get out of it? Most of these men would admit that they are aware there is something wrong that they have been unable to develop friendships with others. In fact, it turns out that these men who live a lonely life make questionable friends when they do make friends (not sure why). This only serves to reinforce to them that many are not to be the cycle continues.

It is not so difficult to get out and make friends, genuine friends, and find those who share the same values as you do. Does this lack of friendship and undesired loneliness speak volumes about these men?